I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Randomize
