I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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