YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
