Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he fucked my hip out of place.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
