we have officially lost it.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
