I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
