I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
