was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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