Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
