i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
