my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
