Will you blow on my dice?
My room smells like vodka and shame
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
