Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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