I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
