If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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