there was a trapeze. enough said
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
