I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
