I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
