she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
