i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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