If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Four minutes until I can fart!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
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