Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
