Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
