i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
