Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You pole danced in your parka.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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