Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
