Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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