ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
