wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
