Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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