i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
nutella sex= disaster
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
