I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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