Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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