I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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