So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
