Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
