i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
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