I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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