I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
