If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
