I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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