Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
