you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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