Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I wish my penis had an off switch
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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