I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
