margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
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