Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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