Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
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