No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
