I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
