I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
