im about as happy as oj after his trial
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My pussy is not your playground.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
